Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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