on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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