It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize