I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
