Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
