Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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