White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
sex in a hospital.. check
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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