Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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