I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
