I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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