You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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