every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
