That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
