She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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