I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Less talking, more tequila
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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