I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
