Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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