did you get engaged???
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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