I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I believe in your delicious
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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