her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
