i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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