we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
