Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
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