I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
