Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
