no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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