ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
