Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
