maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
