He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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