And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
