you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize