Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
