I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize