Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
