he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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