I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
