East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
