Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
