awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
