We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize