i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
