She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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