I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
