I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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