I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
