I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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