Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize