sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The feeling are messing with the penis
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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