Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
