Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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