I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
