PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Screwed.edu
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He passed out mid-signature
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
