The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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