I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
my shit smells like andre
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
