i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
