I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
vagina is talking i cant
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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