The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
NoShamevember. You game?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
