The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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