My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
