I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
