Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
