Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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