Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize